Expanding Sex in the Age of STDs


Yes, it’s dreadfully annoying to have to worry about sexually transmitted disease. What a sense of loss we can feel curtailing our natural desires for intercourse. It can feel so much like a punishment to have to be more circumspect than we would otherwise. It can really put a damper on relating to people we are interested in, making us more distant, making the situation more complex and confusing.

We see people moving with grace, speaking with fullness in their voices, and may immediately wonder if they are so sexy and expressive, if they also are more likely to have STDs. We may want to move subtly in sync with their bodies, let our voices become musical in tune with theirs. We may want to whisper and draw our faces closer. But instead, we may put a barrier of rigidity around us. We may think about the consequences of a simple kiss, and also of what I might lead to if we are led away from discipline. We may start thinking of how to ask about current STD test reports. The moment is gone.

We can become so resigned to the idea of being careful that we cut down on emanating our sexuality to the world. Letting the sexual energy flow through us all the time, being sexual beings, romantic creatures, creates a kind of humming aliveness, a freedom of energy movement. Putting sexual expressiveness on hold can often make us pale and wan, or hard and insensitive.

We may be waiting for the right person to come along, the only person to make love with, but in the meantime become so cold and asexual that that person may not be able to discover our animal magnetism. We may feel left out, even despondent, and grow too used to sublimating our desires for closeness. We can be too alone. And the more alone we become, the more likely it is that we will stay alone.

sex and std

If we do find ourselves involved with a person who is a carrier, we can feel at a loss as to how to make love without contagion. If we have chosen a liberal relationship, open and fee to explore with other partners, we can feel constrained in a situation that should be expansive and exciting. We can feel it important to the relationship to be with others, but become stuck in monogamy when it goes against the grain, and lose the relationship altogether.

Conventional intercourse, unless both partners have been tested, is indeed dangerous, with or without condoms. Viruses can go through the latex, and the other genital areas can also transmit as well. Condoms should not give a false sense of security. When they do, you could say that condoms lead to STDs. Using spermacide in the condoms also has the reverse affect from what is desired. Global Protection Corporation’s professional journal reports that Nonoxinol- 9 may increase the risk of HIV and STD infection. Nonoxynol-9 tends to cause inflammation, cuts, or a rash, in the tissues of vagina and anus, as well as on the penis.

But why be conventional? Conventional has its charms. But rather than bemoan our fate, can we instead enlarge our array of techniques, give thanks for what we CAN do with people, play with the possibilities, and enjoy honoring each others’ bodies with our caution and our loving touch? Can we move beyond what we have been taught that sex is? If we think expand our ideas of sex, can we then feel that we are engaged in a love life? That attitude adjustment may make all the difference in how people relate to us, and how easy it is to get out of bed in the morning to meet the day.

Contact between not only genitals but the entire pelvic region, buttocks, and thighs can be dangerous for passing diseases such as microscopic warts which can lead to cervical cancer, and herpes, which makes chances of acquiring other STDs higher,. But we can still find satisfaction by lying next to each other and engaging in mutual masturbation, The majority of women have orgasms generally only by manual touch, and so they may find this technique much more explosive that intercourse, anyway. Using lots of natural, organic lubricant can greatly help how pleasurable this feels for a man.

And expanding into Tantric techniques goes even further into bliss. Tantra is an ancient practice that has scientifically proven benefits. Tantra is practiced world wide by celibate monks and nuns, so in actuality, it is not nearly as related to sex as the recent craze would indicate. Sex is a tool for enlightenment. A variety of ways of relating sexually can be included in the practices, using breathing, visualizing, circulating energy, meditating, chanting and toning, squeazing the anus muscles, curling the tongue upwards, turning the eyes upwards. Coming to a state of completeness in Tantra doesn’t require intercourse. For example, you could simply be sitting across from each other or back to back, rasing your energies up your spines together. Or, you could breathe back and forth between chakras, the energy whorls along the body. Studying Tantra can give you some ideas about fantastically effective techniques that will raise your consciousness, take you into a sense of euphoria, create all body orgasms, and orgasms that extend beyond the body, into the aura, and beyond the aura into EVERYTHING.

The more we seek out ways we can work with, and benefit from, our societal need for sexual restrictions, the more we may find ourselves enjoying sex on a whole new level.

Advice: Sex While She’s On Her Period

Dear Theresa, My boyfriend always wants to have sex while I’m on my period. I think it’s gross, but he says he doesn’t mind. I still haven’t let him, but ironically I always seem to be hornier when it’s that time of month. Should I try it? And if I …