Going Over the Threshold Before Marriage: Moving in With Your Significant Other


If you’re in a relationship, the time may come one day where you and your significant other may decide to take the relationship to the next level. You’re probably thinking about engagement, but I’m thinking more along the lines of cohabitation.

Moving in with your significant other can be one of the most exciting and most nerve-wracking experiences in your relationship. It means a whole new level of commitment, plus a year-long lease if you decide to rent. So what do you do when the decision is made to live together?

You may get a lot of weary looks when you tell your friends that you and your lovebug, honeydew, or whatever pet name is assigned decide to move in together. One of the most common responses you’ll hear when spreading the news is, “Are you sure you want to do this? It’s such a big commitment.” Obviously it’s a big commitment and it’s not a decision that should be rushed into. When you decide to talk about this subject, think about where your relationship is right at this moment. Do you truly love this person? Can you handle the idea of sharing your life and everything in it with someone on a daily basis?

Another response you may encounter is, “Well, so and so moved in with their significant other and it caused so many problems in their relationship that they split up.” Obviously, so and so didn’t think the decision to move in with someone through. You have to understand that once you live with someone, especially if you will be sharing a bedroom with that person, your personal space becomes their personal space. Nothing is yours, everything is both of yours. There are no secrets and no privacy. That’s how a relationship should work, right? Think about this before you bring up the idea to your snuggle bear.

Of course, let’s not forget about those who will say, “What?! You’re moving in before marriage?!” Today’s society doesn’t seem to have many morals left to live up to, but moving in with your sweetie before you both share a last name isn’t looked down upon. As long as you both are happy with the decision, that’s what matters. Consult with family if there are any moral objections, or to your spiritual advisor as well. Many beliefs don’t condone cohabitation before marriage and this could stand in your way.

Moving in with someone you love is a wonderful way to step up the commitment in the relationship. It may often lead to wedding bells in the future. Aside from the commitment, it can also be financially beneficial, as long as you trust your honey and their money management skills. You could split the rent on a one-bedroom apartment, along with all of the utilities. Just make sure your sweetie has a job and is financially responsible for themselves. No one likes a freeloader, unless that’s how your relationship works.

It’s also perfect if you both work or go to school and don’t get a chance to see each other often. From personal experience, my fiance (he proposed to me after we moved in) and I are both in school and work part-time jobs, so it was difficult making time for each other. Once we moved in, not only did our bank accounts thank us, but our relationship has grown stronger because no matter what, we come home to each other every night. It’s a good feeling.

Not every relationship is cut out for living under the same roof, so please be cautious and level-headed when making up your mind. Think about the level of devotion you will reach once you share a mailbox with your other half. It could be a blessing or a curse. As long as you both are prepared to step up to the plate and feel comfortable with this decision, start packing up your things and alerting the mailman that you’re in love.